Kerla’s Beard

My future son-in-law, Kerla, is growing a beard! How can that be? He’s only 8 months old!

by Martok
Kerla's beard
Photos by Sue Weaver

My future son-in-law, Kerla, is growing a beard! How can that be? He’s only 8 months old!

You should see him strut, holding up his chin for the does to admire his scraggly hairs. Is he going to be studlier than I am? That’s not fair!

My beard is small but tasteful. We Nubians are gentlemen and don’t get all hairy like Swiss breed bucks.

There are lots of sayings about bucks’ beards. Here are some you may not know.

“If you catch hold of a goat’s beard at the extremity—the beard is of a substance resembling hair—all the companion goats will stand stock still, staring at this particular goat in a kind of dumbfounderment.” ~ Aristotle

(Martok notes: This is not necessarily true.)

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“If the beard meant everything, the goat would preach.” (Martok says: We could do that!)
~ Danish proverb

“If being well bearded brings happiness, a he-goat must be happier than any of us.” (Martok interjects: Well, aren’t we?)
~ Italian

Martok's beard

Some humans grow beards too, mostly men. Our dad has a beard. Mom says in 37 years of marriage she’s only seen him without it once and she asked him to grow it again.

The study of beards is called pogonology. The fear of beards is pogonophobia. Some men like growing beards so much that they hold the World Beard and Moustache Championships. (You will not believe it when you visit this website.)

The longest beard in history belonged to Hans Langseth of Norway. It was 18 feet, 6 inches long when he died in 1927 and he willed it to the Smithsonian Institution.

A Sikh priest named Bhai Sarwan Singh who lives in England holds the Guinness World Record for the longest beard; it’s almost 8 feet long.

So take that, Kerla. Your scraggly little beard is nothing!

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