What Type Of Chicken Lover Are You?

Have you kept your love for all things chicken quiet or have you shouted it from the rooftops? Let this metric help you decide.

by Ana Hotaling
PHOTO: iStock/Thinkstock

You adore your birds. You buy them the very best feed and supplements, landscape with plants that please their palates, and praise their egg-laying efforts effusively. Your love is obvious to them, but how obvious is it to everyone else around you? Read on to determine which of these three types of chicken lovers best describes you.

Sweetly Silent

For you, poultry keeping is a true joy. Watching your girls’ escapades gives you a deep sense of contentment, especially when your favorite hen scampers up to you for a snuggle. Every freshly laid egg, every satisfied cluck reaffirms how wondrous and magical rearing chickens can be. You’re positive that everyone would benefit from raising a backyard flock, but you hesitate to speak up, afraid to break the spell. Instead, you opt to spread the word subtly by wearing your “Proud to Be a Chicken Farmer” hoodie while running errands and by baking chicken-shaped sugar cookies for friends. Those willing to listen will understand the message you’re sharing.

Fanciful Fan

The love you hold for your birds knows no bounds. In fact, those boundaries blur past your coop and run right into your home, where an array of whimsical knickknacks reflects the affection you feel for your fowl. Your salt and pepper shakers? Shaped like chickens. Your cookie jar? Covered with chickens. Your egg timer? Okay, that’s shaped like an egg, but that still comes from chickens. Your chicken kitsch isn’t limited to the kitchen, either. The stapler on your desk? Shaped like a chicken. The hallway nightlight? Shaped like a chicken. Your handbag? It’s actually a hen bag. Colorful resin chicks peek out from under shrubs in your garden, while a rainbow of roosters decorate the running shoes on your feet. Let’s face it: If it’s playfully cute and features a chicken, it’s on your wish list—which makes you the easiest person to shop for during the holidays.

Loud & Proud

There’s no doubting how you feel about your feathered friends. The “I Brake for Chickens” bumper sticker on your car clearly declares it, as does the 6-foot-tall metal rooster sculpture in your front yard. When it comes to communications, you clearly lead the way with your chicken-patterned phone case and your clucking-hen ringtone. Your wallpaper—on your phone and in your home—is embellished with birds, and more than one framed photo of your favorite fowls adorn your walls. At weddings, you’re always the first to request “The Chicken Dance,” and when not shaking your tailfeathers, you’re regaling other guests with tales of your hen-house antics. Some might say you’ve gone overboard, but you don’t care. Your beloved birds make you breakfast every day. That far outweighs the morning gifts your co-worker’s pet pug, Rocky, leaves for him.

It’s not only possible but probable that, in the course of your flock-keeping career, you’ll shift from one type of chicken lover to another and back again. While poultry-themed clothing and decor may come and go—and come again—one fact remains steadfast: Those delightful winged things have found a permanent home in your heart.

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